I “knew” I didn’t ovulate in December after the Letrozole but part of me was still hoping I would be told otherwise. Well, Dr. confirmed, I did not ovulate. My estrogen was medium low, went lower, went back up to medium low…but that is it.
She doesn’t even think that another round will work better as the purpose of Letrozole is to force estrogen super low to get your body to ovulate but my estrogen is already low. She did agree to try again with slightly higher dose (7.5mg vs. 5mg) but she doesn’t think it will work…talk about disheartening.
She said that my body might just need more time…this is not what I want to hear. I want a simple, practical list of to-do’s that I can check off that will make me ovulate. Instead, I have to learn to distress and relax more (Hi, I’m a high-anxiety Type A…cool), maybe gain a few more pounds as it could help and won’t hurt (I’ve already put on over 17lbs but she said maybe my body wants a few more), and not to go running (not a problem…I do not run).
On top of this, every single person on my FB is pregnant or posting about their babies. I am 32 so it is normal that most people would be starting families but it is really getting to me. It just makes me so sad.
I am trying so hard to be optimistic but it is hard.
I listen to so many fertility podcasts and one today talked about the benefits of Traditional Chinese Medicine and acupuncture for fertility. I will look into this. It also said to massage your lower abdomen and ears (?) every day for a few minutes as well as put a hot water bottle on your inner thighs to warm the arteries there…
Starting on Monday, I am now making a point to tell Google to “play meditation music for 10 minutes” first thing in the morning to just center myself and breathe and today I spent that time massaging my ears and lower stomach. I’m willing to try.
I am also now officially on the IVF OHIP list but the wait is over one year. I can do it when I want but it is over 20K.
This whole journey is just so hard.