I have been a little frustrated over last month or so because I just want to get this process started, but I had to get more blood work done and have my follow-up appointment tomorrow to find out how everything is looking.
I have wanted to do something that felt productive so I decided that I would pick my sperm donor!
My fertility clinic will only use sperm from two sperm banks. In September I went through both sites and decided on the one I would use. The biggest factor in this decision? The fact that I can see the photos of the donors by signing up without having to pay first (30-day free trial).
The sperm bank I will be using is Xytex Canada.
When you sign up and search donors, you can specify eye colour, ethnicity, height, etc. but I found that this really limited the donors I was getting so I decided to make my search more broad. I mean, it is not like I am actually dating the guy…but at the same time, I want my baby to have what I deem desirable genes.
There are a few things that I was looking for:
- Negative CMV status. This is a virus that is related to chickenpox and apparently, 50% of the population has it. If you are positive, you can select a donor who is positive or negative. I am negative though, so it is recommended that I select a negative donor.
- Reported pregnancy/birth. I want sperm that have made a baby before!
- XYIdentity Disclosure. This means that when my child is 18 if they want, they can contact the donor. I want this to be an option. If the donor does not agree to this, then my child will never have the option to reach out. I want this to be an option for them, even if they decide not to.
A few other things that I was looking for were a recent medical history update and obviously available inventory and Canadian compliant.
Once I filtered for these search criteria, it resulted in approximately 10 available donors. I went through them and selected my top 5. I then showed them to my mum and we narrowed it down to two potential donors.
It is actually really interesting, you can see their medical history, their personality, hobbies/interests, health information, genetic testing, etc. Mind you, when it comes to their family history and personality, you have to trust that they are telling the truth. The genetic testing is interesting though. Not all donors had it completed (not sure why) but if they have, it will tell you if they are carriers for certain diseases.
Initially, I was dead set on someone who had good hair, was over 6 feet, was artistic and musical, athletic and well read. I wanted ALL of the good genes and considering my hair is thin and sucks and I am not artistic at all, I figure give the kid a shot, right? But ultimately, my perfect sperm did not exist in the donors available right now.
So I have picked someone who just seems like a nice guy. Hopefully, that will translate into a nice kid. Plus, my brother is artistic so the genes must be in me somewhere…maybe they are just hidden but will be passed down?
So what are my next steps? Well, tomorrow is my follow up appointment and I will ask if I can order the sperm now and have it stored at the clinic. I am not sure how that part works. Apparently, so long as it stays frozen it is good indefinitely (?). But I need somewhere to store it…
So this is exciting! I have picked my baby daddy. Part of me still doesn’t want to order it because what if I meet the man of my dreams after I have ordered this $2,000 sperm? Can I then put the sperm on FB Marketplace? I doubt I can send it back…but I can’t keep thinking this way because it hasn’t happened yet and really, in the world of covid, who am I meeting?