Okay, “dating” is the wrong word. I think “seeing” is more accurate, but am not even sure that is the correct term. I mean, we physically see each other so I guess it works, but it is a very complicated, bizarre situation. Ah! A situation. That is what I have. I have a situation with my sperm donor. . .
A few months ago I found a sperm donor – he seemed really nice and is married with a family. He has helped a bunch of women and his wife is fine with him doing this. He got an STI check and was ready to help whenever I ovulate. The only downside is that he lives 2.5 hours away. This is not the end of the world but is definitely not convenient. I would have to drive there and stay in a motel for the night. I wouldn’t be in the comfort of my own home, likely have to take a couple of days off work, and it is just not as easy.
Is it doable? Yes. Is it ideal? Absolutely not. Especially if it takes a few tries to work.
About six weeks ago (give or take) another man on the Sperm Donor FB group reached out to me. I told him that I had a donor but if anything changed I would let him know. One big plus? He lives in the same city as me. He also seemed to be pretty good looking (doesn’t hurt). He is a bit older than me and has no kids but wants to pass on his genes.
He does not want to be involved. Ideally, I would find someone who does want to be involved but my original donor would not be either so that is not a deal-breaker. Toronto man and I had been chatting very minimally over a few weeks and randomly, a few weeks ago, I asked if he wanted to meet, just to meet, and see if there was any sort of click.
We went for a walk and had a nice time chatting for an hour. We talked all things donating, babies, futures, what we want, etc. I was totally honest with him about everything I have gone through so far and what my current situation is. I told him that ideally, my donor would want to be involved and he said he would think about it. A week later he told me he does not want any involvement. That is okay with me. He got an STI check and is in the process of getting his swimmers checked to make sure they are good to go.
Well…we decided to meet again, and again, and again…I’ve seen him a handful of times now, he’s cooked twice. Once I brought wine. But we are not dating. Because he does not want a relationship. He is actually seeing someone. He does not want a baby/to be a dad but wants to help me out. This is the most complicated, most bizarre, and random situation I have ever been in. I don’t even know what to call it. Neither does he. We openly talk about how bizarre it is but we are just going with it. Yesterday we signed the donor agreement so the paperwork is signed, sealed and delivered.
Now we just keep seeing each other (?) until I am preggers (?) and then he disappears????
So weird. So random. So complicated.
If there was anyone who was going to get themselves into a situation like this, it would be me.
My goal is to NOT get emotionally involved…because he is not. And to just have fun with whatever this situation is and eventually get a bun in my oven. That is my goal: bun in oven, emotions in check. Please wish me luck.